The Ways We Were Raised
It’s been a while since I posted a blog but I had a thought is morning that was a little longer than 140 characters and let’s be honest no one ever reads the 8 inch long paragraphs people post to their facebook page. We’re not mentally prepared to read something that long when we login to facebook.
Anyway, March 16th I celebrated my first year of marriage! Yeah! I made it through what most people say is the hardest year. I’m not gonna lie, it wasn’t easy breezy. There’s a learning curve but hey! We made it and our marriage continues to grow and strengthen. Marriage is awesome!
This brings me to what I was going to post about. Our upbringings. No two childhoods are the same, you know? There are just too many factors. I’ll list just a few off the top of my head. I’m not even going to list the big ones, religion, politics, etc.
1. What neighborhood you lived in
2. What birth order you were in
3. Your personality
4. Your parents’ personalities
5. Your parents’ upbringing
6. Your families’ financial status
7. Size of your school
I’m sure I could name 100 if I took the time..you put all these together and it’s part of what makes you unique from birth to death. These are all things that have an effect on the way you behave and think. You could even go as far to say as the way you feel about things and yourself.
I had dinner with my family last night without my wife. (She had gone out with a girlfriend of hers.) It’s been longer than I can remember that I had spent any time with them without Karissa actually. Anyway, it got me thinking about how different our families are. Something I said last night, I don’t even remember what it was, but what struck me was the reaction I got from my brother and dad. It was a strong positive reinforcement to my comment. I think I was taking what someone else had said and explaining another avenue to that thought. Well, in my family, we all kind of did that. We would explore caveat after caveat and on down the road to the conversation and that’s how we communicated. In my wife’s family, they stick to the topic, and don’t veer off. Both ways are completely acceptable, but what happens is when I veer off with my wife in conversation, I get blank stares sometimes instead of a positive reinforcer and it’s like, “oh, wait, huh?”
I can remember one time being at my in-laws house and I asked Karissa’s mom what was in something and she told me, then a second later, Karissa explained to her mom that I was just a curious person and I had no real reason for asking. This is true. Ha. In my family, we might have spent the next 15 minutes talking about foods and recipes and all this other stuff for no real purpose but to just say it.
This is just a minute example of what I’m talking about. I’m sure you can think of dozens more probably with way bigger impacts than my example here.
I think there will always be some adjusting when you combine two different people raised two different ways. The important thing is to love and accept each other. Respect each other. I actually LOVE figuring out and hearing from Karissa that “in my house, we did it this way” It’s so interesting to me. I know I’m not like everyone but after all, I am a curious person…
How have the differences in the ways you were raised affected your relationships? Please comment. Thanks! Until next time..