CIYOS Pt. 4 “Footloose”

Watch this video and listen to the lyrics…

The second verse especially hits home with me…

You’re playing so cool, obeying every rule
Dig a way down in your heart
You’re burning yearning for some
Somebody to tell you that life ain’t passing you by
I’m trying to tell you
It will if you don’t even try
You’ll get by if you’d only

Cut loose, footloose…

As I mentioned in my last post, I struggled with finding my place in the world.  I had to dig a way down into my heart, find out what I really yearned for out of life.  You know, I really like the word YEARN.  It’s better than just desire.  I feel like a “desire” is just temporary but a “yearning” for something is long lasting.  It’s more passionate.  It’s like you want it so badly, you can’t think about anything else.  It’s also got “earn” built into it.  You have to earn what you yearn for.  Hmm…  Sorry, it’s my wordy nerdy side coming out.  ANYway…

When I was 7, I wrote a letter to Santa that I wanted a Nintendo.  I was really nervous because I wasn’t sure if I still believed in Santa but I had to put those doubts aside because this was happening, doggone it! He had to send me one this year.  I had been a pretty good boy.  I yearned for that game system.  I had already had a taste. My buddy from school, Ryan had one at his house.  When I went over to spend the night we stayed up all night playing it.  It was the best thing ever.  Mario and Luigi, wow! I HAD to have one!  You could say I yearned to be the owner of an NES or Nintendo Entertainment System.

Let’s go back a couple years to Kindergarten.  Here was the deal: the teacher said if we wrote out 1-100 we got to have a balloon.  I really liked balloons.  A lot.  So I stayed inside from recess and wrote out 1-300 so that I could have three balloons!  Yeah, I was that kid. Skipped recess to write numbers on that large print brownish weird paper with the lines on it.  Does anyone know what I’m talking about?  I knew what I wanted and I went for it.  I yearned for those balloons. I got those balloons too.  It was a proud day.  Fast forward a few years…

Somewhere along the way that spirit in me…just kinda died.  (Everybody saw awwww)

It was kinda sad.

I got to the point that I only wanted to do something if it meant I would do it perfectly and I couldn’t fail.  I wasn’t really willing to take any risks.  I was afraid of getting hurt.  Sound familiar?  What was it costing me? A lot more than I was gaining.  I was settling for the ordinary when my heart deep down was yearning for the extraordinary.  Life WAS passing me by and it was because I wasn’t even trying.  I had lost my passion and my direction towards what I really wanted.  I was out of answers.  Then about September of 2010, I heard about something interesting that happens every month in Dallas.  It was a program called Pathways.  A couple months later, I went! I tried something out of the ordinary.  Out of my comfort zone, out of my budget and work schedule but I made it work because I was sick of waiting.  Too much life, MY LIFE, had already passed me by already.  I wasn’t going to keep watching more go.

The first thing I said on day 1 at Pathways was that I felt like I was being left in the dust behind my friends and everyone around me.  Everyone was gettting married, getting ahead in their careers, doing great things and I was doing nothing with my life.  I felt stuck.  I didn’t realize how self-defeating I was being and how to change.  They helped me work through all that.

SPOILER ALERT: When you do Pathways, each person gets a song that is special to you.  It reminds you of where you were and where you are now and also where you are headed.  For me, “FOOTLOOSE” epitomizes the before and after of my life at that moment in time.  So now I’ve kicked off my sunday shoes and I am headed for great things so WATCH OUT because I’m coming to your town!  Living life to the fullest is the only way to go!

*Fist Pump*

~AP

CIYOS Pt. 3 Identity Crisis!!!

Welcome to Part 3! Today I’m exploring the question – “What happens during an identity crisis?”

Let’s look first at the definition of an “identity crisis”

identity crisis

noun

1. a period or episode of psychological distress, often occurring in adolescence but sometimes in adulthood, when a person seeks a clearer sense of self and an acceptable role in society.

2. confusion as to goals and priorities: The company is undergoing an identity crisis.

Let’s explore the end of definition 1 for a minute – Acceptable role in society?

To me, that begs the question is your identity defined, at least in part, by your “place” in the world, where you fit within it? What do you think?  Imagine for a moment you had the whole world to yourself.  Let’s remove the notion that you would be lonely…extremely lonely.  Let’s say you didn’t have that built into your spectrum of emotions.  Let’s say you were on the planet alone…the only human.  Population: YOU.  There are still animals, plants, everything else but you have no one like you.  You are self-sufficient and you live a happy life; it’s just by yourself.  Now, say aliens came down to visit planet Earth and they met you and reported back to their home planet about you.  They could communicate with you. How would they describe you? What would they say about Adam of Earth.  (Input your name).

Ok, scenario 2: The world is just as it is now and the same thing happens.  Aliens come down and “probe” you (just in communicative terms, haha).  Does anything change?  Does their report come out any different in the two scenarios?

Think about that for a moment…

My answer: I think it’s as different as night and day.  For me at least.  Adam of Earth is a total relater.  I relate to people.  That’s WHO I AM.  My identity is tied up with those around me.  I learn things about myself whenever I interact with others.  For a large part of my life I have withdrawn myself from others.  Kept them at arm’s length and wouldn’t you know it, I really struggled with knowing myself…who I am at my core.  If you asked me 18 months ago, who is Adam? I could tell you that I was a Christian and I want to help people.  I’ve known I have had it in me to help others forever but it’s been pretty surface level.

I believe it takes the rest of the world and your interactions with it to find out who you really are DEEP DOWN.  You know the saying about raising children that “it takes a village”.  I think that’s really true.  If you are one of those who keeps everything in, who isn’t willing to be vulnerable with anyone, I challenge you to do something different as my buddy Dave would say.  Chances are you are having an identity crisis.  Well maybe not a crisis but how well do you really know yourself if you don’t have anyone to tell you any different?

Thanks for reading.